


Jane D'oh!

by kid_n_the_hall



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: Body swap challenge, I'm not april you are, MFMM Year of Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 08:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10827948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kid_n_the_hall/pseuds/kid_n_the_hall
Summary: Mac's overslept.





	Jane D'oh!

If it's one thing Elizabeth Fiona MacMillan absolutely detests, it's being late. She also hates when there is no one else to blame but herself for her tardiness, that and that eight thirty on a workday is too early for a good measure of scotch. To crown her splendid mood she has to deal with the two idiots known as Miss Fisher, supposedly honourable _,_ and Jack Robinson, Detective Inspector. She'd rather not deal with anyone or anything without strong black coffee to start her day. Looks like she's not that lucky today. She's barely managed to pull on her lab coat, roll out the requested corpse and repeat her mantra twice when Phryne saunters into the morgue accompanied by the sound of clacking heels and a cloud of perfume that gives Mac an unexpected pavlovian response. Damn it.

”Morning!” Phryne chirps, which sends Mac further into her foul mood, one can always rely on Phryne hating mornings and now she's suddenly perky? _Ugh. ___

____

”New perfume?” Mac rather states than asks this and immediately scolds herself for it.

____

”Why, yes, I'd never known you to pay attention to that before.” And Mac never does, but now it reminds her of shared cigarettes, warm breath on her cheek and chestnut curls fanning out across a pillow.

____

Mac feels the Fisher radar scanning her and feels exposed so she grabs the manila folder and stares at a spot on the floor behind it. Phryne tilts her head, _damn_ it, she'll start sniffing like a blood hound soon, and moves towards the body draped in a white sheet.

____

”The Inspector was running late, he should be here any minute though.”

____

”Hm” Mac offers and hauls in her wandering mind, the slight hangover making it difficult.

____

”So...” Phryne begins, ”Who's she?”

____

”Female, mid twenties, multiple stab wounds...”

____

”Not this 'she'” Phryne interrupts waving at the folder, ”who's _she_?” Mac does not appreciate that tone at all.

____

”Who?”

____

”Don't play dim with me, your nightly companion.”

____

”What?!” _Fuck._ ”There's no 'companion'” _Oh, look at that very interesting crack in the ceiling._

____

”Oh, please. A: I haven't seen you without a cravat since 1920. B: you're in the same ensemble as yesterday.”

____

Unfortunately Mac's reflexes aren't sluggish enough so her hand is touching her bare clavicle before she can stop it. And just like that images of kisses along that very clavicle pop into her mind, and the tip of a tongue tasting her neck and...right. _Focus_

____

”Everybody can't enjoy your range of sartorial variety.”

____

”No, unfortunately not. But then there is the fact that you are wearing two different cufflinks, both which are yours. So where ever you spent the night, you've been undressed there before.”

____

 Mac's harrumph at this makes Phryne look like she won the lottery as Mac very badly tries to pretend that blush is not creeping up to colour her cheeks. She throws a stern look at Phryne that doesn't hide her inner debate at all.

____

”So...who's our Jane Doe?”

____

”...” Mac tries to inwardly curse her body to drain the blood from her cheeks instead of setting them ablaze. _Get yourself together Elizabeth._ She risks a glance under lowered eyebrows at her all but gloating friend on the other side of the body.

____

”Ah” at this Mac simply just glares, she will not reward the smug 'ah' (clearly just Phryne code for 'deduction completed') with a response.

____

”You are smitten” Phryne continues, pleased as a kitten before a bowl full of cream. ”You are smitten and the fact that _Doctor MacMillan_ is not immune to worldly spells such as love offends you!”

____

Mac growls, ”I am not under any spell”

____

”Of course not. So. Who is she?”

____

Maybe if she claims defeat, her friend might act a bit more honourably and shut up. _As if._

____

”Mid thirties. Librarian with a keen jazz ear and a penchant for gin.”

____

”Hmm. Mm?”

____

”Don't you 'hm' me Phryne Fisher! Fire off your bloody questions.”

____

”Name?”

____

”Helen.”

____

”...” Phryne's eyebrow asks the question loud enough.

____

”No, no, no last name. You'll only look into her like she's one of your cases.”

____

”I just like to look out for you. Like the caring friend I am.” Phryne almost manages a straight face.

____

”And more than caring you're curious within an inch of your life!”

____

”Yes, well that too. But really, I'll figure it out soon enough anyway, you might just as well tell me.”

____

”No, view this as a little afternoon treat from me” Mac smiles sweetly with a bitter hint whilst trying to ground herself by adjusting her cravat that isn't there. _Fuck_.

____

With impeccable timing the Inspector then more or less stumbles in through the doors, nods briefly in Mac's direction ”Dr MacMillan” before eyes are locked at Phryne and he suffers a clattering encounter with a gurney.

____

”Miss Fisher” not so brief nod, ”My apologies for being late.”

____

Mac's sure he intended the apology to both of them but his whole being is sort of reluctantly turned towards Phryne like a moderate heliotrope. Phryne beams at the poor sod. Mac shudders. It's quite fascinating to see the dithering dance these two idiots engage in. Fascinating and bloody nauseating. Do or do not. Preferably do so that the tension can dissipate and not continue to pollute every space they enter together. Mac releases her annoyance in one disgruntled exhale, waking the turtle-doves from their expedition into the depths of each others eyes. Sometimes (well, always) Mac assumes she'd feel less violated watching them hump than to be caught in the middle of these _knowing_ but utterly daft glances. _Blergh_. Surely she doesn't behave like this?

____

”Shall we?” She pins Jack with her best authoritative look.

____

”Oh, yes..but...” The Inspector wavers and looks over at Phryne and back to Mac ”I thought this was about a woman?”

____

Mac just stares. How did he know _? The gall_. And how utterly unprofessional! She sizes him up, daring him with a very crisp ”What!?”.

____

He shares another glance with Phryne. Mac's eyes do a pretty spectacular roll, _god, can he just focus solely on the case for once?_ He then haltingly continues,

____

”Well, the case, the, the autopsy you wanted to brief us on, was regarding a woman. This...” Jack points with his case file to the body between them ”is neither a woman nor twenty and some years.” he folds back a bit of the sheet to expose the face of a balding man with obvious strangulation marks.

____

”Hrm. Your observation seems correct, Inspector.” _Fuck._ Unprofessional indeed. Phryne more or less twinkles with amusement. Alcohol would be nice. Yes.

____

”Please excuse me while I retrieve the right body”

____

 

____

**Author's Note:**

> I thought in january that it would be nice to manage at least half of the tropes, so far I've done one. And that was tiny. So I freaked and 29th of april I thought I'd try the idea I had. It didn't work so I ended up with this sort of rip off of Juana, but whatever, I posted it! And what do you mean it's may? It's no such thing *backs out*.


End file.
